Healing the Mother Wound

A journey back to God (Part 2)

I left you with a quote last time, and I shall start again with that quote:

‘‘There is nothing as powerful as a Mother’s love, except a Mother’s love for herself’’

We have been taught that it’s ‘selfish’ to put ourselves first, but as I delved into my inner world and the world of frequency, energy, quantum physics, consciousness and everything in between, I realised that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

In fact, when we tune into the body and respond to our needs, when we gift ourselves pleasure and joy, when we learn how to love ourselves again….THAT has a bigger impact on those we love than ANYTHING we can do for them.

We are all connected at source. As one person raises their frequency, it affects the frequency of the whole. What could be less selfish than that?

PART 2

I made good friends all round and felt freer at last. Until we had to move house and my heart froze to cast.

But Uni came along, a chance to be free from the home. A chance to explore who I was and to roam. From there I did grow, ups and downs on the way. But I barely looked back or remembered to pray. I put others on pedestals and spent most time in play. Made connections for life. But deep inside was a nagging ache. A sadness. A bitterness. Of which I couldn’t shake. I turned my back on my mum, tried to pave a new way. Escaping the past, a life of 2 halves I did lead. Not connected to self, or seeing what needed to heal. I’ll spare all the details but all this carried on, as I became a school teacher, gave myself to my work. Kept very ‘busy’ and ignored all the hurt.

In the meantime, my mum tried to take her own life. Twice this did happen. I felt numb to it all. As I pushed it away and tried not to fall. Kept on going with my ‘life’, giving her the odd call. While carrying a guilt which was my own cross to bear.

Until the day I became ‘Mother’ which little did I know, would be the most healing journey as I learnt to find flow. But first, oh first, was an unravelling of sorts. As the façade crumbled down and the emotions did show.

A soul like no other flew into our lives. A perfect baby, a good boy, full of fun, full of life. Not here to do it ‘our way’ but to break us out of our shells. To turn us inside and out, facing our own man made hell!

Now don’t get me wrong, I tried to carry on as before. Hiding the emotions, maternity leave and more. Feeling sorry for myself, when I went back to work but no help at our door. Emotions poured over as tiredness set in. sometimes crying at work as I wasn’t the same as before.

Then child number 2 came and the first did get older. And as did happen with me, he started to get ‘bolder’. Parenting was easy, or so I did think. You follow the rules and on an eve have a drink. But this didn’t sit right with me, nor with him. As he started to push back the rules we did sing.

At first I took everything personally. Thinking I’d gone ‘wrong’ or not done things so perfectly. Then I realised he was taking all MY fears, he was mirroring back all my own inner tears. Something changed deep inside me and I knew it was time. To take back my own life and stop pretending all was ‘fine’. I was masking on the outside, behind closed doors I was crying. I felt lonely. I felt lost. Even with the ‘perfect’ family.

And so the journey began, back to who I really was. On the way, twists and turns among plenty of plots. An awakening. A healing. All different words. To describe what was happening as my fears I did purge.

As I dropped all the stories I’d made in my head, I learnt to forgive and hurt I did shed. My energy shifted and so did my body. I came back to myself, learnt to make peace with the past. To put it to bed, live in the present at last.

I got to know myself like never before. My true needs, my desires, my fears, so much more. I learnt how to channel the words in my heart. To connect back to the soft voice that was there from the start. the one I’d ignored for years to survive, was finally allowed to be heard and to thrive!

Part 3 coming soon……..

Do you resonate with any of the themes I’m sharing?

Healing may happen within, but it soon shows 'without' too.

Do you have a story to tell? I would love to hear from you.